2016 Resolution Update

[OldUsedParts]

My goal for 2016 was to lose just 10 pounds. Only 15 to go.

Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes. Really just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce. And cheese. OK, FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.

How to prepare Tofu: ala Texas BBQ Forum
1. Throw it in the trash.
2. Grill some Meat.

I just did a week's worth of cardio after walking into a spider web.

I don't mean to brag but......I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

OTHER STUFF:
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV channel.

Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither.

I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented....I forgot where I was going with this.

I love being over 75. I learn something new every day.......and forget 5 others.

A thief broke into my house last night......He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.

My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like: I KNOW!, Right?

I think I'll just put an "Out of Order" sticker on my forehead and call it a day.

PS: Sunday, March 13, 2016 began Daylight Savings Time. I hope you didn’t forget to set your bathroom scale back 10 pounds on Saturday night.

[Okie Sawbones]

[BluDawg]

I took up rollerskating to get more exercise as suggested by my sawbones at my bi annual checkup, but I had to give it up as the belt on the treadmill wore through.

[OldUsedParts]

"someone asked me if I jogged" and I replied "what?" they said "do you run?" I said "only if someone is chasing me"

[Okie Sawbones]

I took up rollerskating to get more exercise as suggested by my sawbones at my bi annual checkup, but I had to give it up as the belt on the treadmill wore through.

A man after my own heart.

[Boots]

On January 1st, I resolved to have no resolutions for the year.

Then, immediately after thinking about the implications my head began to hurt and I had to sit down on the front porch and have a beer.

I feel much better now, as I am still confused but at a higher level.