Story for the ChileFarmer

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boots USER_AVATAR
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Story for the ChileFarmer

Postby Boots » Wed Feb 08, 2017 12:49 am

So, Chile Man, I know how boring it can be to be laid up so I thought I might lay out one of my old boring stories for you if it helps pass the time. It's a story my Dad told me when I was a little kid and I just happened to remember it today driving home down the highway, thinking about the good times.

So, as a young man my Dad was a former fighter pilot, and when he left the Air Force he got a job as a civilian flight instructor down in Hondo Texas west of San Antonio. His job was to straighten out all the problem and incompetent student pilots,who spent most of their time doing their best to try and kill him in the process. Hondo was not much of a town then, probably just a few hundred people, and not much to do except farm and hunt deer. And there was not much farming as this was the early 1950s in the midst of the big long Texas drought. My Dad used to hunt a lot being from West Texas, and he would talk the German farmers around the place into letting him hunt on their farms if he would in turn fly over in a Piper Cub and shoot the varmints that used to steal their sheep and goats. When he wasn't hunting, most of his off time he would spend hanging around playing dominoes under a live oak tree with the other pilots and mechanics out in front of the barracks next to the road.

One crisp fall day he was sitting out playing bones with his friend Jack and some other guys, and all of a sudden up roars this big shiny black Cadillac sedan. A little guy jumps out in brand-new cowboy boots and a spanking new orange cap and vest, looked like a circus clown. To the shock of all the pilots he jumps out and strides over and demands to know where all the deer are. All the pilots are too gob smacked to answer except Jack, a grizzly veteran of Patton's Army, who goes "where you from Mister?".

The stranger replies, "I am a geologic engineer from Princeton, down here doing geologic surveying for an outfit in San Antonio. All the petroleum engineers there told me that the best deer hunting was in Hondo. So I am out here to bag one, can you point me to where they are?"

My Dad, being the quick thinking guy that he was,pipes up, "I could tell right off from yer clothes yer a big game hunter". He points across the road at a farm full of big brown goats. "There they are right there, you can see 'em plain as day. I know the guy that owns the place, he won't mind a bit, he thinks all the deer are a nuisance and eat all of his grass so his cows starve."

The stranger goes,"Thanks neighbor!", strides over to the Caddy, and pulls out a big shiny new Weatherby Magnum rifle. He then asks my Dad, "is this enough rifle?".

My Dad goes, "I'd say that's just about perfect, looks are deceiving. Sometimes those deer will just charge you like a bull elephant. Can't be too careful."

The stranger puts out a big toothy grin, walks confidently across the road, cranks the bolt and pumps a round in the chamber, and steadying the big rifle on a fencepost, proceeds to blast a hole in the nearest billy goat about the size of a silver dollar. With a look of startled surprise, the goat falls over like a bowling pin.

"Here, let me help you with that" says my Dad. He walks across the road, steps over the little barbwire fence, picks up the goat and slings it across his shoulders, then walks back, steps over the barbwire again and strides up to the Caddy. "Let us rope this thing on to your fender, the Hondo Chamber of Commerce eats that stuff up and you'll probably get your picture in the paper."

"Well, thanks neighbor", says the stranger, "is there a butcher in town that can dress and pack it for me?".

"Oh yeah, go see an old German man on the main drag down town named Ernst, his butcher shop is right next to the post office. He is the best in town. Just tell him you shot this deer in the field across the street from the airbase".

"Well thanks again neighbor, you Texans really are as friendly as everybody says!" And the Princeton man roars off in the Caddy down the road toward Hondo.

My Dad's friend Jack walks up to him. "Boots, you're just about half mean", he says, "don't you think Ernst is going to be mad when this guy comes in and wants him to process a goat?"

"Not half as mad as when he finds out that the Yankee boy shot one of his goats. That farm across the road belongs to Ernst and those goats are all his pets, ever one of 'em's got a name of a historical figure. It's my sad duty to report to you boys Mr. Princeton just shot Sigmund Freud."
Last edited by Boots on Mon Mar 13, 2017 12:07 am, edited 1 time in total.
BE WELL, BUT NOT DONE
Hank: "Do you know how to jumpstart a man's heart with a downed power line?"
Bobby: "No."
Hank: "Well, there's really no wrong way to do it."
oldusedparts USER_AVATAR
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Re: Story for the ChileFarmer

Postby OldUsedParts » Wed Feb 08, 2017 6:50 am

:laughing7: :D :lol: :tup: :salut: :cheers:
I am determined to sustain myself as long as possible & die like a soldier who never forgets what is due to his own honor & that of his country—Victory or Death. William Barret Travis - Lt. Col. comdt "The Alamo"
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Re: Story for the ChileFarmer

Postby egghead » Wed Feb 08, 2017 10:04 am

Mark Twain of TBBQF

Will lift Chile's spirits
Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of congress; but I repeat myself - Mark Twain
XL, Small, and Mini BGE
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Re: Story for the ChileFarmer

Postby GRailsback » Wed Feb 08, 2017 9:24 pm

Great story Boots.

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